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December 1st, 2009
09:47 pm - Past...Present....Past.
These last few months have been great,
but then again, they have been all over the place.
Random people coming and going...a blast from the past that I did not expect....I still don't trust what she says, but she apologized...that's a start right?
Needless to say, I've seen everyone's true colors...including my own.
I'm not a great person, but I can try to change that.
Others seem to be so...well I don't know how to explain it, but its quite annoying.
I've separated who I want in my life from who I do not.
As of this point I only have a few really good friends...4 of which are my best friends that I care about the most (Andy, Carlos, Jaime, Yerly) and I know they will always be there for me no matter what, no matter how bad I mess up, because they know what it takes to be a good friend...alot of people don't really care, they are selfish and care for no one other than themselves, those people I have Little contact with now.
28 days left till i'm 19. Scary, the real world that is. Getting a job and going to college...its unreal, and kinda fun, But i'm still pushing myself to get out of here.
I have $2500 saved up for my car, or a plane ticket...either way, if I get my car i'm myself out of here, maybe go on a permanent road trip? Living here isn't the greatest idea, most people fail to see the rest of the world....I don't want to be one of those people.
I'm sick of the people here.
*By the way, if your reading this...(you know who you are), what I sent you that night was all true; a text was better than a call or in person, for then I wouldn't have been able to say much, cause it still hurts..kinda.
I hope things get better for you and you find what you are looking for, and that dude isn't worth the chasing...trust me, he's still the same douche he was in High School when he hurt you.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_boy/happy.gif) optimistic
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November 21st, 2009
11:16 pm - Gosh darn it.
I've ran and ran, I've even tried leaving, but this isn't escaping me.
I want to be there for you.
I know everything is tough right now, and you have new things going on, but despite that, I want to be there for you, I want to be the friend that I said i'd always be.
I don't want to go back on my word.
I truly miss you.
I sound like a broken record.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_boy/confused.gif) confused
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02:20 pm - You have no Idea..
I've been playing with the idea of hating you and not wanting to do anything with you....but the truth is, I miss you. As a whole.
There are times where i'm just completely lusting after you.
There are times where I just want to hug you.
I miss you...I really do.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_boy/sad.gif) sad
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October 29th, 2009
11:13 am - I know it's been awhile.
These bitter thoughts turn into bitter feelings.
I have so much to say to you.
None of which are nice remarks.
I know.
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October 28th, 2009
12:44 am - Your True Colors
Why can't you see
How your choices of the past 2 years
Have destroyed the bond that I held dear?
And I, gave you a chance
But that chance is gone and all that's left
Are the memories that haunt my every breath
The pain I felt when I first heard
My friend gone who I treasured
Erased our time found in splendor
This once bright life has last color
She was only 18
She was only 18,
But never again
Where is your mind?
It's time to open up your eyes
Just think this through,
This time it's only up to you
Gotta fight the feeling,
Just live these words to overcome
I'm telling you this as a friend,
Your habits must come to an end
Gotta fight the feeling,
Just break away and hold your own
I'm telling you this as a friend,
Your habits must come to an end
You fell behind, then lost these Friendships for a life of shame
Your choices showed me your true colors, I tried to help over and over
You gave me your word, but when words are lies inked to disguise
I'll make my stand and break off all the ties
Gotta fight the feeling,
Just live these words to overcome
I'm telling you this as a friend,
Your habits must come to an end
Gotta fight the feeling,
Just break away and hold your own
I'm telling you this as a friend,
Your habits must come to an end
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October 18th, 2009
12:03 pm - You always
Hurt the one you lost I couldn't get enough,
You were everything that was bad for me,
Make no apologies,
I'm crushed black and blue,
But you know I'd do it all again for you. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 866
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October 15th, 2009
11:52 pm - I honestly don't.
I don't need you in my life at all.
But if you need me, or anything of the sort, I'll be there.
But I refuse to be the one trying to keep the contact
I refuse to be the one that goes to you.
I don't mind talking as long as you want to. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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October 8th, 2009
01:05 am - To whom it concerns.
"You gotta build it up and then break down." Dear _______,
Hmmm,
It's been an odd few days, so many things happening and many new people going in and out of my life and also seeing a few familiar faces.
I bumped into biddlemen at school, really weird, then he stopped by my house thinking I wasn't there, but I caught him off guard, he didn't say much, just that he got my message and that he understands.
I also ran into...yeah, twice!
Didn't feel much, just wanted to say hi and give her a hug but that's pretty much it. College fair was today.
2 colleges up north that I'm interested in and I also got accepted into AI, but I plan on moving to Seattle, I hear it's beautiful up there.
I've been here for way too long, there isn't anything here for me anymore, it's time I go out into the world, away from pedro, cause most people in this town don't know what's beyond this shit hole. I plan on seeing everything!
Paris, London, china...the works, though I wish you were along side me I know it will not happen, but I hope your happy, I hope you also get out of this slum of a town and be able to do what you love and making a living for yourself. Ultimately, I want to see the world and I want my friend back...I have a better chance being an astronaut than getting you back..I know this, it doesn't hurt anymore btw...
My heart...ive waited for you to mail my old one (the one I left with you) but I know you've been stabbing at it it's almost unuseable, so I made myself a new one.
Here's to the past, here's to you.
I miss you and I hope your doing well.
I've thought about life without you, it doesn't kill me, but it hurts.
10 years from now...I hope things are better between us, until then..until forever...
Goodbye,
For a lifetime.
-Alex Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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October 5th, 2009
11:10 pm - You'll always be..
Such a catastrophe. I don't hate you, I wanna thank you.
Make amends.
Being mature and moving on sounds good right now.
Fuck the past, it's the past.
Let's get passed this.
Just talk! Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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October 4th, 2009
01:46 pm - Contemplation you jerk!
Sundays are boring
But today should be fun.
I need a day out of the house.
I was fired the other day but I got my last check and its going towards my car ^_^ and I'm taking my driving test this week! So this person, popped outta nowhere, she's pretty cool. Might be somethig there...I can only hope. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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02:38 am - When will the tables turn?
This is for you
Your the one worth waiting for
Your all I ever needed in this life
Words cannot express the impact you made on me and my entire life
All I can say is that I love you for everything
I tried so hard to make this right. After all you put me through my friends still stay true.
Your reign is over.
Just prove me wrong.
You'll get what's coming to you!!
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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01:54 am - This was a journey.
"It's hard to miss someone you don't know anymore"
Your different now, your not who I fell in love with, I fell for someone that was amazing, a free spirit, but someone who knew right from wrong, someone who knew better than to give into all the wrong temptations and make herself be like
Well ya know.... I miss who you WERE I hate who you ARE now. Shape up. Get well soon. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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01:51 am - She was more.
She was more than just my girl, she was my best friend. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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September 30th, 2009
09:42 pm - She's so high.
She's so high above me, so lovely.
She so high, like cleopatra, moan of arc or Aphrodite.
This girl, is awesome =)
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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September 17th, 2009
05:35 pm - Happiness
I should stop being so selfish.
If your happy, I'm happy, that should only matter. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W Oliver St, 888
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September 6th, 2009
08:05 pm - Dragging.
I won't give up, no matter what no matter how difficult you get I won't give up.
Even when it's hopeless to even try, I won't give up...your worth it. Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Current Location: US, California, Los Angeles, Los Angeles, W 4th St, 630
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June 29th, 2008
12:22 am - 2012
If it doesn't kill us..The Hype Will.
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hurricane192001's journal